I am not a religious person. I was actually imposed religion and its beliefs as I was growing up and at some point in my life I decided to work on being spiritual rather than religious.
As lent started Wednesday, this is a time where followers do sacrifices for 40 days. I was told to give up chocolate, chips anything and everything that I liked as a child and as a young adult.
This week Mom tells me that there is a mass for my grand-mother's intention two days before what would have been her birthday. She says::Manan-Nine was so good to you". That approach was how it was suggested that I should following the "right way" (induced guilt) and at one point in my life I would have been frustrated feeling what she holds important is being imposed on me. However, I took her comment as an invitation.
As I arrived at the little chapel, I recognized the smell from when I attended church there in my younger years. I saw Mom and Dad sitting at the back and I went over and joined them.
I looked at them intensely and I was so grateful to see them, be with them and I honoured their dedication their Faith despite not sharing the same feeling about it. I looked over and saw 4 veiled nuns and thought that isn't a sight we often see nowadays and perhaps my grandchildren will never know that? I wondered what and why that sacrifice of living? Perhaps imposed by the family as they were young girls? I felt compassion for them.
Many do 40 days of penance. In the preaching of that mass, it was said that if we follow God we choose life and if we don't follow God and his commandments we choose death. I did not completely agree on the way this was said/written and this is my version: We have two choices. We feed the bad wolf or we feed the good wolf. It doesn't matter that we do it for a God. I believe in God, just not in any one religion and I believe we MUST feed the good wolf by loving ourselves first, we need to be good and forgiving to ourselves first, we need to treat ourselves with respect, compassion and when our relationship with ourselves is a good one, this reflects back to people around us.
When we let our inner critic, our ego take over this is when we feed the bad wolf and it creates a ripple effect of bad in us and around us.
Lent is not only 40 days … making a decision of penance is not about giving up chocolate or chips but to conduct ourselves in a good way and that is something we should adopt as a practice 365days a year.
Which wolf are you feeding?
"When we let our inner critic, our ego take over this is when we feed the bad wolf and it creates a ripple effect of bad in us and around us."