How do I find out my purpose?

Having a purpose in life wasn’t a concept that took much of my time before 2009. Then I came across the topic while reading a variety of personal development books. That question was foreign and the answer was not known. I was entrenched in very-low awareness living then.

With much work on my own, I became passionate at figuring out my purpose. I had started reading about the law of attraction and I was asking to find my purpose. A variety of people, events, resources came my way and I had begun discovering my purpose. While “living life” I started realizing I wasn’t “happy”. Despite having a good job, family being healthy, having a nice house, pool, summer cottage, etc … I couldn’t find content for myself. As I look back, I had no purpose.

Perhaps you feel frustrated, confused, you wake up in the morning and you are not motivated, you go between highs and lows, you are scared of pursuing your dream(s), you feel numb, you envy others of their success, you seek validation, your life lacks direction etc.

A purpose in life is not your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. It refers to the real reason why you’re here and that you exist?

Why is finding our purpose so important? Because it creates a sense of meaning to our life? It makes us feel like we have a place. It gives us a clearer sense of self. It makes our lives easier. It empowers us. It gives us confidence.

To help you find your purpose here are a few questions you can answer and I invite you to document or journal this:

*What are my core values? At times we do not know our core values and we live a life unaware of how we contradict the values we have. Make a list. Select the top 5.

*Ask yourself “what is my purpose”? Make sure you are alone and you are not rushed. For this to be effective, you will need to believe in the possibility you will find your purpose. Write down the answer that comes to mind. Anything. Write it down. Keep on asking yourself this question and writing down what comes to mind until you feel an emotion. The answer you write that causes you to cry will be your answer. You can refer to your core values to start creating your list.

I will warn you; this will not be easy to do for some of you. You may be tempted to walk away from this effort. You may find this bogus. You may feel that you cannot concentrate, or come up with anything? Or you may have a list that is long? Once you have gotten to the words or short sentences that resonate with you. Start creating your purpose in writing. I had to write and rewrite until it resonated with me.

This is what my purpose looks like:

To live honourably, consciously, courageously, from a place of love and humbleness. To motivate others, make a difference and contribute in making life better by helping people recognize their authentic self.

Knowing your purpose is like going on a road trip and having a car that is tuned up, filled with gas, having snacks and a road may knowing which direction you are going. Once you have purpose, you will begin to see exactly what you’re made of. Life also helps by giving us all the things we need to help us with our purpose after identifying what it is.

Our life purpose is not our goals or dreams but it is a map that helps us to create goals and achieve our dreams and our goals and dreams support our purpose.

When you find your purpose, honour it - make it your own. Good luck and this may be the single most important first step to making changes to living your authentic life.

Love and light

Frannie and the herd

Gifting

I was inspired to write about gifts today as it seems that I am surrounded by this concept lately.

From a variety of sources, I have come across the topic of receiving and giving.

How do I give how do I receive?

Gifts that we possess. What are my gifts?

What are some gifts that one can give and/or receive from humans and animals?

The general idea of giving … is there a connection linked and/or an expectation?

How does this relate to my life, my purpose what I do?

Medicine from the horses vs. gifts from the horses.

In my own interpretation a gift is something you give or do for someone and do not expect anything in return. A pay on the other hand is you give or do something for someone, and you are given something for what you have done. It basically says you did this for me, and I paid you and so you and I have no connection. If the pay doesn’t come, there is a conflict because there is an expectation for a return it is an agreement or engagement.

A pay encourages separateness and an end to a connection. However, a gift creates interconnectedness between two people or more. I like to think that we are all ONE and each of our individuality creates that ONEness. So, I like the gifting concept. It also encourages a feeling of satisfaction on the giver’s part. Let’s admit, giving a gift when the intention is honest feels good no matter the gift shape, size or form.

However, when someone actively offers me a gift in any form, that it be a compliment, a helping hand, an opportunity, a coffee, a visit or anything else I have found myself feeling that I owe them. Which I shouldn't. This is not interconnectedness and I know that but the feelings of owing them is uncomfortable. That comes from my distorted belief system that I am not here to receive but rather to give. This is such a trap because I have given of myself so often that I enabled people to take advantage of me. As this is where, I have to self talk and accept people's gifts and understand that they gave and are giving with good intention to create connection of goodwill rather than me owing them.

What type of gifts are there? There is such a variety. It could be an exchange of time given or received from someone in the form or a service, help, lending something, etc. It could be a compliment, a lesson of life even currency.

I have received so many gifts in my life and I am eternally grateful for them. And these mainly came in the form of lessons of life from people and animals that crossed my path and what these experiences created: someone – ME – that has evolved and grown in wisdom, self-awareness, spiritually etc. which I really like.

This engages another thought in my mind: I have gifts. The gift of teaching, leadership, resiliency, Faith, connectedness, intuition, insight etc. I was given gifts by God – we all were - and when I realized that working for somebody doing what mattered for somebody else and not for me made me feel like a slave - to the exception I was getting paid- I came to that realization, nothing seemed to fit anymore. I was not using my gifts in a way that gave me satisfaction and fulfilled my purpose.

The agreement of doing the work I was asked and in return getting money was not satisfactory consequently I decided to make changes in my life. Challenging myself to be courageous, to believe and to trust in my purpose has been rewarding and is offering me continued growth the way I want to grow.

I am grateful for my life which includes the ups and downs. I am grateful for the people and animals that came on my path providing me this growth. You see all of this were gifts to me which I had no one to pay or receive pay for but provided me a connectedness to them and to myself. I find appreciating your life’s path and finding personal growth in the events is a gift that has not price on it.

I recall being uncomfortable getting money when I first offered services to help people. This is what I wanted to do: help people. Use my gifts and share with people. I became confused with the concept of asking money in return. I felt uncomfortable because of my beliefs around living my purpose and getting paid for it. If you want to help people, how can you ask for money? I recall helping many people and not asking for anything in return and/or not asking for a justifiable return. On one hand it made me feel good as I was the one offering but then I started feeling like it was expected of me and my desire to help these people lessened because of the expectation that came with it. I was no longer offering them a gift. I was delivering on their expectations.

When you give something or of yourself it is because it makes you feel good and you made the decision to do so. The good feeling is not felt when someone’s expectation is removing the pleasure of doing something, helping someone and there is an expectation that there should be or not be a return or exchange.

So, I started looking hard at how I can justify helping people, living my purpose, using my gifts and feeling that having an exchange can keep a connection between us at al level that supports our ONEness which is part of my belief system.

The concept of being able to say I have the best job in the world where I am helping other people and getting paid for my efforts resonated with me and I can say with comfort: “What could be better than help in this world whilst I am keeping myself looked after at the same time”? Besides I have to pay all these expenses to keep my partners, my herd. It is also expected from my bank that I pay my mortgage, and other living expenses paid off. I have invested in my education to enhance my gifts and so I can look at getting “gifts” from people who I offer help to.

My herd contributes by offering their medicine as a gift to the clients that connect with them. They do so without judgement, without expectations and with such generosity. And believe me it is a gift like no other gifts. The sharing of our gifts (with or without the herd), provides a connection and an experience that cannot disconnect me or my horses from the clients.

I am committed to helping them on their path of self awareness and how to discover and activate their Sacred Gifts. I am dedicated at helping them change sabotaging perspectives and releasing blocks that prevent them from living the life they wish to live. Why? Because I’ve been there, done that and I’m doing that. Doing this is my life purpose and being acknowledged for my help by receiving a monetary exchange is part of what giving is. What is good for you is good for me and it is a cycle of gift giving that contributes to the greater good of all.

Surrender, trust, accept

How to accept that we do not have control2w

There is a grief in the process of change. As I have been motivated to be independent, do it on my own, choosing what I want and don't want when I was faced with the fact that I needed to completely fall to my knees and accept reality I was like the devil child in Holy water. Did I ever fight it! I got to a point where I was exhausted and defeated. My Ego was in a pissy mood and it was very uncomfortable.

Aries

I was out West "horsing around" and as I was with a herd out there in the open field; two came to me and I felt invaded. I was questioning their intent and feeling I needed to set my boundaries with those two and take control. They both came towards me rather quickly. My journal and pen, water bottle and cell phone were on the ground and Aries started playing with my journal ~ I still have smudged ink in that journal from his wet lips flipping the pages. Both of them were rumbling with my stuff. I picked up my belongings and thought you are bullies and I was determined to stand my ground. Aries, a beautiful paint who had caught my eyes and Tareena, a gorgeous white horse were obviously working as a team. So there I am, in a battle to stand my ground and keep my space, and not make a change or open myself to change and I was not going to loose this fight.

My coach came to me. She had been observing our "exchange" and she asked me: "What is going on?" I answered that it was a battle and it reminded me of a situation. She said:" You are pushing them away. Their medicine is nurturing, love. What are you doing? You are shoving your journal in their face. You are pushing them away".

Making changes and letting go is not easy. We all need to accept reality and take the necessary steps to move forward. the more we want to stay in control and do the same the longer it takes for us to progress.

Let's face it, accepting changes, making changes can be emotionally paralyzing. Sometimes we are so fearful of the unknown that we stay comfortable in our uncomfortableness and we stay miserable and for some odd reason that is better than to change - Go figure. We need to almost get to a point of being disgusted, done with what we live with to actually be open to a change and letting go of our controlling behaviour that is actually not working in our best interest.

We must accept change. We need to be aware and accept that internally we will experience resistance to change. While we can’t emotionally detach ourselves from the experience of life changes, we can try to take a step back and look at things from a distance. Sometimes journaling and analyzing helps us understand exactly what is happening and why and lead us to understand better what we are experiencing. We need to determine what we CAN and CANNOT control and learn to accept that reality. Accept that as a new reality in your life. Give yourself time to change and be empathetic, nurturing and loving towards yourself in this time of transition. Focus on small accomplishments and identify a plan of action to enhance your movement towards a new reality or life. Increase your sense of control in small ways in this new way of life. Find support and count your blessings. Being grateful and focusing on what you do have makes room for positive focus and moves us away the feeling negative and our inner critic taking over our thoughts.

Have I mastered accepting change? I have a better way of accepting change that I initiate … of course and of the change that I need to accept, I've learned that the more I want to control the more hurt and pain I cause myself. So as Aries and Tareena taught me so well … Surrender, let go, and trust.