Freedom is my 𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐄. Everything about freedom feeds my soul, makes me live my life the way I choose. It is necessary for me to have all the freedom I want.
Freedom of expression.
Freedom of movement.
Freedom of decision.
Freedom of choice.
Freedom of being.
Freedom Freedom Freedom!
When I watch a horse run I get emotional and choked up! I feel its freedom and it feels so good actually exhilarating.
I’ve battled all my life for this need to be free.
As I am in my year 9, I've been struggling with things of the past that are resurfacing. Why? Because I didn't deal with them before. And the past has prevented me from being free.
One ah-ha moment was shifting my optics on discipline.
Discipline was an imposed way of life which took my freedom away. So I lived my life pushing the limit. Exercising my freedom in every way possible in the resistance that surrounded me.
In raising my kids, I had that disciplined approach which created constant stress and resistance. My disciplinary approach was more of a dictatorship. No wonder it created resistance.
In my work as a leader during my corporate years, I was more of a sargent major. I did not win popularity with all my employees 🤦🏻♀️
I remember being introduced to the 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑜𝑟𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒”. Created by Dr. William Glasser. It emphasizes" the individual's control over his or her actions and feelings. Conflict arises because we can only control our own behaviour. It teaches the concept that all behaviour is chosen and states that all human behaviour is driven by the desire to satisfy 5 human needs:
🗝️ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓪𝓬𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓭
🗝️ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓾𝓵
🗝️ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓮
🗝️ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓯𝓾𝓷
🗝️ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓿𝓮
Basically it was an invitation for me to shift my approach. Providing choices and to allow the other to assume responsibility and freedom for their choices without me taking on responsibility or control. Empowering them vs me imposing my power.
Now some of you may say:"this is what went wrong with the kids today, we gave them power to choose. In my days we knew what we could and couldn't do. Nowadays everything is permitted."
No. No. No. You see there are consequences to every choice. Good consequences and bad consequences. We as parents just need to follow through on the consequences.
This approach allows freedom of choice, and can develop self-discipline. Not imposed discipline by others.
Discipline does 𝓝𝓞𝓣 equal 𝓝𝓸 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓸𝓶 when you look at it in the choices you make to improve, grow, learn, and succeed and the responsibility you own for the choices you make.
Self-discipline pushes us forward by making us take action despite how we may feel at the time.
"𝓢𝓮𝓵𝓯-𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓲𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓹𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓸𝓪𝓵𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓲𝔃𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓪𝓵."
Jᴏᴄᴋᴏ Wɪʟʟɪɴᴋ
Self-discipline 𝓓𝓞𝓔𝓢 equal freedom.
For me it was á conflicting concept but in reality with freedom comes creativity, and choices to live life on our terms. Self-discipline is what keeps us on track to succeed and reach our goals and our dreams.
Freedom and honouring freedom as a core value is essential however we cannot forget that if we do not add the self-discipline part we will procrastinate and wait for things to come our way and we will end up wasting time. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝑏𝑦 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒. 🤦🏻♀️
For most of my life I have made choices and I own these choices. I own the experiences. Yes we ARE responsible for our lives. In the choices we make. We always have a choice even if it comes down to how we 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓽 to something... vs 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓷𝓭.
What is the difference? Responding provides space to better understand what is happening, make a plan and move forward. When we react we are quick.
No matter how or what we do, it is part of the experiences of life that provides clarity on what we want vs. not want.
I was given a fridge magnet years ago by a co-worker. It said:
"𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓹 𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓲𝓽 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮"
My horses and the "dance of life" with them have helped me make my tripping part of my life. Their guidance, support and experiences with them have contributed and continue to provide me the exposure I need to gain clarity and awareness as I trip and dance in my day to day life. The dance between freedom and discipline is exactly that : a dance.
So, where am I going with all this?
Disciplined freedom is an approach of living life that provides us the power to make choices that will bring us to reach our dreams. Accepting responsibility for our tripping with compassion for ourselves helps us keep alive that free will we were given at birth.
Go dance and trip with unconditional acceptance and love for yourself and others in this balancing act we call life.
I've decided to make this emotionally challenging year the most exhilarating and dynamic journeys I will ever travel.
Love, Light & Blessings
Frannie Chara