How to accept that we do not have control2w
There is a grief in the process of change. As I have been motivated to be independent, do it on my own, choosing what I want and don't want when I was faced with the fact that I needed to completely fall to my knees and accept reality I was like the devil child in Holy water. Did I ever fight it! I got to a point where I was exhausted and defeated. My Ego was in a pissy mood and it was very uncomfortable.
I was out West "horsing around" and as I was with a herd out there in the open field; two came to me and I felt invaded. I was questioning their intent and feeling I needed to set my boundaries with those two and take control. They both came towards me rather quickly. My journal and pen, water bottle and cell phone were on the ground and Aries started playing with my journal ~ I still have smudged ink in that journal from his wet lips flipping the pages. Both of them were rumbling with my stuff. I picked up my belongings and thought you are bullies and I was determined to stand my ground. Aries, a beautiful paint who had caught my eyes and Tareena, a gorgeous white horse were obviously working as a team. So there I am, in a battle to stand my ground and keep my space, and not make a change or open myself to change and I was not going to loose this fight.
My coach came to me. She had been observing our "exchange" and she asked me: "What is going on?" I answered that it was a battle and it reminded me of a situation. She said:" You are pushing them away. Their medicine is nurturing, love. What are you doing? You are shoving your journal in their face. You are pushing them away".
Making changes and letting go is not easy. We all need to accept reality and take the necessary steps to move forward. the more we want to stay in control and do the same the longer it takes for us to progress.
Let's face it, accepting changes, making changes can be emotionally paralyzing. Sometimes we are so fearful of the unknown that we stay comfortable in our uncomfortableness and we stay miserable and for some odd reason that is better than to change - Go figure. We need to almost get to a point of being disgusted, done with what we live with to actually be open to a change and letting go of our controlling behaviour that is actually not working in our best interest.
We must accept change. We need to be aware and accept that internally we will experience resistance to change. While we can’t emotionally detach ourselves from the experience of life changes, we can try to take a step back and look at things from a distance. Sometimes journaling and analyzing helps us understand exactly what is happening and why and lead us to understand better what we are experiencing. We need to determine what we CAN and CANNOT control and learn to accept that reality. Accept that as a new reality in your life. Give yourself time to change and be empathetic, nurturing and loving towards yourself in this time of transition. Focus on small accomplishments and identify a plan of action to enhance your movement towards a new reality or life. Increase your sense of control in small ways in this new way of life. Find support and count your blessings. Being grateful and focusing on what you do have makes room for positive focus and moves us away the feeling negative and our inner critic taking over our thoughts.
Have I mastered accepting change? I have a better way of accepting change that I initiate … of course and of the change that I need to accept, I've learned that the more I want to control the more hurt and pain I cause myself. So as Aries and Tareena taught me so well … Surrender, let go, and trust.